Memento Mori

“Memento Mori” is the Latin phrase that slaves whispered in the ears of Roman generals on their victory parades after conquering other lands. It means “Remember you will die.”

All Saint’s Day, the day after Halloween, is also the day before All Soul’s Day in the States and Dia de los Muertos in Mexico. Families remember their departed loved ones and prepare sugar-candied skulls to feast in their honor all over Mexico, but the tradition has migrated to the United States.

In my Bible study with the Duke Catholic Center, we discussed the concept of “legacy” in the context of the recent passing of Matthew Perry, the actor who played Chandler Bing on the sitcom, “Friends.” He suffered from addiction and told audiences on his book tour for “Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing: A Memoir” that he wanted knowing him to be viewed as a good rather than a bad thing.

I have had a number of Spiritual Directors through the Catholic Church over the past four years, including a retired lawyer, a nun who was a grandmother before becoming a nun, and a professor-priest of Africana Studies with a Ph.D. from Yale. These sessions are an appropriate place to discuss my burning philosophical and existential inquiries about the meaning of life, the existence of God, and what kind of legacy I’d like to leave.

Since I don’t have children, what will people remember about me? Will it be the journalism I’ve produced using my passion for the written word? Will it be my debate skills and the lawyering I’ve done? Will it be my Socratic teaching style and my ability to get undergraduate students interested in the law? Will it be a beautiful mind and those who have witnessed my thought leadership?

I found some inspiration in the story of the Book of Life, a movie that came out in November 2015. Figurines at this Mexican museum exhibit represent Xibalba and La Muerte, gods who rule over The Land of the Remembered and the Land of the Forgotten, respectively. The animated gods select mortals Manolo and Joaquin upon whom to place bets. La Muerte bets that Manolo will marry Maria; whereas Xibalba wagers that Joaquin will win her hand. Xibalba stealthily stacks the odds of winning in his own favor by entrusting Joaquin with the Medal of Everlasting Life, which protects those who wear it from death and injury.

In the movie, the Candle Maker, who balances the gods’ powers, tells the protagonist, Manolo, “You didn’t live the life that was written for you, You were writing your own story.”