40 Years of Fabulous

I am a professor who gets mistaken for a student. People with dark complexions age well because the melanin pigmentation protects their skin from the sun.  I know I still look young. But on January 27, 2025, I will celebrate my fortieth birthday. What does forty look like for others?

In honor of this milestone, I pose the question, “Would you rather have great ideas, great friends, or great love?” I’ve had great ideas and great friends up to this day , but great love evades me.

I’ve enjoyed rich friendships with females via the tight-knit Wellesley Alumnae Network. Friendship with both genders also comes through school, through bar associations, through law firms, and through my young adult Bible study groups, but I’m on the verge of aging out. I’ve made male friends off dating apps when the chemistry isn’t quite right but the companionship is there.

Over the years, I’ve tried to balance being intellectual with being a practicing Catholic. I don’t always agree with Pope Francis or the Magisterium of the Catholic Church. I have found Spiritual Direction to be a helpful, therapeutic way of sorting out my thoughts on religion. The latest Spiritual Director that I found in Colorado is a Protestant scientist with a side hustle of writing historical romance novels. Sometimes I flounder and miss a couple of beads of the Rosary, but I suspect that a higher intelligence that some would call God is watching over me with a smile.

I’ve had so many great ideas that I’m about to defend my doctoral dissertation. I’ve also gotten a Juris Doctor degree, a master’s in journalism, an LL.M. in law and business, and a bachelor’s degree in economics, along with five law licenses.

However, I’ve never gotten married or given birth. What is the meaning of a balanced life? Should I be financially stable with a house, a spouse, and two kids or does my story have meaning even without a traditional path? 

What about finding great love? Am I on the verge of becoming what Vice President J.D. Vance called one of those “childless cat ladies?” I could consider adoption, but I am afraid to have children who have gone through a lot of personal trauma. I am weighing the pros and cons of freezing my eggs but it’s expensive and semi-invasive.

I’m upping my hiking game, now that I’ve moved back to Denver. I’m also planning to join a running group called Revolution Running that has two coached runs every week to train for the Bolder Boulder. I’ve run-walked it before successfully. Part of turning 40 for me means trying to look good at any age. This includes fitness, fashionable clothing, hair, and makeup.

Another aspect of becoming older and wiser includes gaining a worldly perspective. I recently took a cross-country road trip to Yellowstone National Park, where I saw the Liberty Cap but missed Old Faithful, fulfilling some but not all of my wanderlust. I have also studied abroad in South Africa (where, at age 30, I went on the Kruger Park safari in Johannesburg) and France (where, at age 19, I was old enough to drink wine). I believe that speaking foreign languages and immersing yourself in other cultures gives you a certain je ne sais quoi and a certain joie de vivre. It also creates a global understanding of politics, economics, and philosophy.

I have experienced many moments of inspired personal growth and happiness in my forty years of fabulous. Is something missing? I am not certain. But I hope the best is yet to come.